Autor: Gregorio Kus (Grego_at_RMnet.IT)
Data: Sat 20 Jul 1996 - 02:56:52 MET DST
MICROSOFT ANNOUNCES < insert new M$ application name >
REDMOND, WASHINGTON -- In an effort to < insert M$'s lame idea about
what user's need >, Microsoft announced today that < insert M$'s lame
answer to lame idea >.
"< Dumb quote from a M$ employee about how user's will `benefit' from
this new M$ application >" said a Microsoft spokesperson who requested
to remain anonymous.
Industry analysts were quick to praise the decision, calling it "bold
and innovative!" "This new < insert new M$ application name > will
free Windows users from < some bug or missing feature which is M$'s
fault in the first place >. It also gives Windows a new feeling of <
something that would make anyone using any other OS fall asleep >",
said a member of Ziff-Davis Publishing's Editorial Staff. "This is
precisely why < insert competing software application's name > is
failing in the marketplace -- they have failed to deliver a < enter
quality that only a Business Major turned computer journalist could
dream up >."
When asked when < insert new M$ application name > would be available,
a Microsoft spokesperson said "< insert convoluted quote that convinces
the user that the application will be released soon or even yesterday,
but doesn't commit to any specific date >" The spokesperson also added,
"It really doesn't matter since < insert new M$ application name > is
destined to be the most < insert glorified praise for non-existent
application and be sure to mention how it will be `powerful' and
`dominate' the world software market >."
Market and industry analysts quickly agreed adding that "< insert new
M$ application name > has already revolutionized the industry."
A spokesperson from < insert competing software vendor's name >
disagreed however. "Microsoft is still trying to sell products that
don't exist. < insert competing software vendor's name > has been
shipping < insert competing product that is unheard of thanks to mass
sucking of Bill The Gates's genitals by the public (and Joan L. Brewer)
> since < insert date from pre-history (see Jurassic Park for examples)
>. < insert new M$ application name > or whatever it's called, still
relies on DOS's < insert stupid part of stupid DOS operating system >
and is not a true < insert latest computer jive for "modern" >." He
added that "users who think that < insert new M$ application name >
will have no problems will be in for a surprise."
Most users seem to remain unconvinced however. "< insert new M$
application name > will < insert a nonsense list of things anyone using
any other OS has been using since the ENIAC > and it won't have any
bugs or compatibility problems because it's from Microsoft. Why should
I buy < insert competing software application's name > which is less
than perfect when < insert new M$ application name > is right around
the corner?"
To archiwum zostało wygenerowane przez hypermail 2.1.7 : Tue 18 May 2004 - 12:49:10 MET DST