polip: Re: list bumerang

agatek_at_utctu19.ct.utwente.nl

-- 
Marcin Dębowski
/\/ UTCT/MTP, http://www.pg.gda.pl/~agatek, agatek_at_utctu19.ct.utwente.nl
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The Four Basic Types of Chain Letters:
Chain Letter Type 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make a wish!!!
Really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
STOP, DAMMIT!!!!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel
guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to a
certain number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad
goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true!
Because, you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is
TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.
10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.
20 to 674, 951 1/2 people: 20 to 674, 951 1/2 people will be pissed off
at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no
parents, and no willie. This little boy's life could be saved, because for
every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving
Legless Armless Willieless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember,
we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bullshit. So go on,
reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a
reminder- if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die
instantly.
Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible becuase there was no email then and probably not as
many bitchy little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it
works. Pass this on to 1-5067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to you like:
Queer Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack
in the side walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a
flood of shit, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell
nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Queer Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored
it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some
people swing that way). They both died and went to hell. They continued to
suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every day
for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this
letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok.
Chain Letter Type 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your
friends.
Friends
-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like shit,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your
loser life,
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the
check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the
cleaning lady,
-A friend is not someone who sends you shitty chain letters because he wants
his wish of his crush sucking his schlong him to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will screw you in your sleep!!
There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chain
letters, on to the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity,
send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but
otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you don't, I don't
care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it.
Thanks!
Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it.
If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people
feel guilty (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or
nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of shit) just
delete it. Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say
"#$@!%#^! CHAIN LETTERS!!"