NaughTy Lies

In its third annual "computer lies" review, PC Computing's Ed Bott poses the rhetorical question, "what is it about the computer industry that compels people to stretch the truth past the breaking point?" We often wonder about this too, particularly when it comes to Microsoft's unsurpassed history of lobbing gargantuan groaners at what should by now be an awfully suspicious public.

This year's "Lies" article forms a pair of bookends for PC Computing. Two years ago, they unearthed Windows 95 whoppers. This year, they take on the latest fusillade of falsehoods issued forth from the Microsoft camp for the purposes of flogging their latest "hot product," Windows NT. According to Bott, "Microsoft occasionally oversimplifies issues and smooths over the rough edges in NT."

While we admire the research, we think Bott is being a wee bit too kind. But judge for yourself: what follows is a summary of seven of the ten "NT Lies" published in the July issue of PC Computing.

"Upgrading from Win95 Is Easy"

The NT interface may look like Windows 95, but according to PC Computing, "installing NT over Windows 95 is impossible," and "even if you're exceptionally well organized, the upgrade will probably take several days from start to finish." Expect to wipe your hard drive, reinstall all of your applications, and sacrifice previously installed hardware to NT's incompatibilities. Microsoft, per usual, promises a fix -- in the next version. Is anybody still naive enough to believe that the next version of any Microsoft product will ship with fewer bugs than the previous edition?

"NT Works with Most PCs"

Windows NT is particularly picky about device drivers, which means that finding the right combination of hardware to work with NT is equal parts research project and crap-shoot. According to PC Computing, "one in three x86 systems that work with Windows 95 sputters and dies when faced with NT. If you've got an older audio adapter or network card, you'll probably need to replace it before you upgrade your operating system." Because of these complications, the magazine estimates typical upgrade costs at just under $1,000.00 per machine, which the careful reader will observe is roughly equivalent to the entire cost of one, brand new, entry-level computer.

Meanwhile, Bill Gates takes every opportunity to sneer at the entire concept of the Net Computer (NC), at least as it is proposed by his competitors. The standard Gates tag-line on the subject: "NC stands for not compatible."

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"NT Meets Military Standards"

Microsoft claims that Windows NT has earned a prestigious "C2" security rating from the National Security Agency (NSA). But what they prefer not to mention is that the NSA rating only applies if the NT machine is not hooked up to a network. Observes PC Computing, "Would you install a copy of NT Server without connecting it to another computer? Of course not."

"NT is Robust and Crash-proof"

According to PC Computing, "compared with Windows 95, [NT is] as solid as Gibraltar. A buggy application locks up Windows 95 so tight only the power switch can undo the damage." But running NT involves learning to live with the dreaded Blue Screen of Death, a symptom of buggy drivers and memory conflicts. Says PC Computing, "even more insidious are memory leaks, which slowly drain resources from the operating system until performance becomes so sluggish that rebooting is the only alternative.... Most depressing of all ... crashes are so common that they've earned the ultimate in backhanded compliments--their own widely used acronym, BSOD."

"NT Server Is Worth More"

With Windows NT, Microsoft offers users a Hobson's choice and introduces the brave, new concept of value enforced by edict. The two versions, NT Server (NTS) and NT Workstation (NTW), are essentially identical, except for the license agreements and the price. According to Microsoft, running a network with more than ten simultaneous connections on a cheaper Windows NTW system is illegal, though technically perfectly feasible.

Microsoft's solution: pay them an extra $450.00 for NTS, and then toss that other web server application in the trash, because NTS comes bundled with Microsoft Internet Information Server. Try the less expensive solution -- running a competitor's server application on NTW -- and according to PC Computing, "you would be violating the Microsoft license agreement, and a disgruntled employee could turn you in to the Business Software Alliance, with consequences including stiff fines and public humiliation. But hey--it's your business." Well, it used to be anyway.

"Zero Administration Is Here"

Microsoft's "Zero Administration Windows" scheme is intended to take the control of the PC out of the hands of users, and put it back into the hands of the network administrators, thus theoretically saving everyone scads of time, grief and money. PC Computing notes the fundamental irony of this maneuver. Wasn't the PC supposed to put power onto the user's desktop? And secondarily, notes the magazine, "it doesn't even begin to address the real burdens of PC ownership, which still requires hours of upfront administrative effort before a user can get to work."

Microsoft's evasion of these issues is a classic: "In effect, 'Zero Administration' means zero administration for users," they coyly admit. Now we understand: Windows still won't work properly, and will still be a nightmare to maintain, but now the ordinary user will be powerless to do anything about it. In case it wasn't already painfully obvious, perpetuating these huge overhead costs is one way Microsoft builds product loyalty on the part of network administrators and consultants, the only people who really count in the Microsoft scheme of things. Users are an expendable commodity.

"NT Works Great on a Notebook"

Windows NT is so power-hungry and feature poor, that PC Computing warns notebook users not to expect "to get much more than an hour out of a fully charged battery." PC Cards can't be added on the fly, and even Windows 95's dubious implementation of "plug and play" doesn't work with NT.

Once again, Microsoft promises a better tomorrow, but don't expect them to offer any apologies for today.

References:

1. NT Lies, PC Computing. The basis for the above article.
2. Gates, at Comdex, Touts Windows NT for the Home, Cox News Service.
3. This TechWeb article rebuts a Microsoft claims that their NT/Enterprise systems will be less than half the cost of the nearest UNIX competitor.
4. Microsoft set to post patch for NT flaw that brought down its Web site, InfoWorld. It's one bug fix after another, and users are beginning to ask why Microsoft can't seem to get it right.
5. Microsoft promotes Windows NT, but turns to UNIX for its own important tasks, according to the Globe and Mail (Canada). A simple query into Microsoft's main "name server" reveals that this mission-critical task is being handled by a machine running Unix, not the company's much-touted Windows NT. The Globe and Mail apparently withdrew this article and the claims, though Microsoft's use of a Unix name server had already been independently verified.
6. Microsoft integrates NetShow 2.0 into Windows NT Server, C|NET. Microsoft has difficulty competing against the video and audio streaming technology offered by Progressive Network's RealAudio, so they engage in tactics unavailable to the competition: integration of their rival product into the Windows NTS operating system software.
7. MSNBC replaces its NT Servers with Unix installations. Why? "Simple. They didn't work," according to PC Week.