Autor: Gregorio Kus (Grego_at_RMnet.it)
Data: Thu 30 Jan 1997 - 15:00:28 MET
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News flash from Redmond:
Microsoft releases MS-Water (tm). By cleverly combining
hydrogen and oxygen together to form a secret , patented compound,
those clever folks over at Microsoft have invented the perfect liquid.
The official Microsoft press announcement stated:
'Since the beginning of time, mankind has dreamed of a world free
of thirst. Thanks to this new Microsoft innovation, everyone now
has access to the solution to this problem.'
Typically, some critics have slammed this new technological
breakthrough. One of the more cynical critics stated 'Whats the big
deal here ? We have always had access to free water, water was around
a long time before Microsoft ever invented it !'.
A Microsoft spokesperson commented on these rebuffs, saying
'It is sad that some people have chosen make such comments. This new
product is truly of great benefit to all people, and Microsoft
continues to lead the way in developing the products that enrich
people's lives.'
Some analysts are concerned over the cloudly brown appearence
of MS-Water (tm), saying that it might not be pure water, such as can
easily be obtained from rainfalls, rivers and other natural sources.
However, provisions in the licencing agreements for MS-Water (tm)
strictly prohibit the 'testing, chemical analysis, or comparison with
any other liquid, without the written approval of Microsoft', so many
of these analysts are afraid to push the point any furthur.
Thankfully, these industry commentators are greatly in the
minority. Most analysts wholeheartily agree that MS-Water (tm) is
a far superior and much needed product. When asked about the claims
of the 'free water' lobby, they typically laugh, and say 'There always
has to be some clown who gets the wrong end of the stick. MS-Water (tm)
is of great benefit to all people, and Microsoft continues to lead
the way in developing the products that enrich people's lives.'
Asked why MS-Water (tm) is better than free water, one
industry analyst stated 'This new product is truly of great benefit
to all people, and Microsoft continues to lead the way in developing
the products that enrich people's lives.'. Yes, we know that, but why
should I send off a cheque for $12 and wait 2 weeks to get a bottle
of murky brown liquid, when I can turn on the tap and get clear water
for free ? 'Inital pre-product launch surveys (of Microsoft staff)
show that 85% of all people interviewed drink MS-Water (tm).'
Ok then, go with the strength ? but why pay for it ?
Bill Gates (tm), summed up the argument to a large cheering
audience at the latest trade show. 'A lot of people would like
to believe in a free lunch, believe in free power, free Operating
Systems, perpetual motion machines, and even, hell, free Water !'
... audience laughs loudly and claps approval .. 'But the simple
fact is that there is no such thing ! Nothing is really free ...
just look at what we did with IE 3.0 , IIS and MS-Java (tm)' ...
hushed silence from awed audience ... 'The best we can hope for is
cheap Water, and this will only happen when economies of scale
and the size of the market allow us to mass-produce MS-Water (tm)
in bulk. When it comes to anything - lunch, Operating Systems,
Compilers, and yes, even Water, it is a simple case of you get
what you pay for.'
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To archiwum zostało wygenerowane przez hypermail 2.1.7 : Tue 18 May 2004 - 15:53:28 MET DST